I think he threw up a little.

My husband just walked into the bedroom, holding a big ass pair of very dirty granny panties by the tag and asked me “Babe, are these your chonies? They were on the front lawn.”

Um. No. They were NOT my chonies and I have no idea who’s they were.
Now he’s in the bathroom scrubbing his hands with antibacterial soap and hot water while gagging and I’m laughing my ass off thinking that he might have just touched the neighbors dirty panties!
The moral of this story is do NOT assume panties that mysteriously show up on your front lawn at night belong to your woman.

Or something like that.

22 thoughts on “I think he threw up a little.

  1. Broad

    What I want to know is, why would Tony think you left your panties on the front lawn? And if you did, why would you want them back!?!?
    Boys are silly sometimes.

  2. girl

    bwahahaha! serves him right for assuming you’d wear nasty granny panties (although we all have some of them, don’t we?) and that you’d be stupid enough to leave them on the front lawn.

  3. Arianne

    OMG, LOLOL!! I’m shocked that he touched them at all. My hubs barely touches my dirty undies when he does the laundry. I bet the look on your hubby’s face was priceless. :)
    Not to sound stalker-ish, but we were at Costco tonight (ack, I’ve been peer-pressured into a membership and now, after my first visit, I’m a Costco whore) and a woman that looked a lot like you and had a baby that looked a lot like your baby girl were there.

  4. mikey

    well, if he ever gets busted with some other woman’s underwear, now he can just say “oh, those? i found ’em in the front yard”.

  5. fran

    i just got shivers from the looking at tweeker’s…
    *shivers*
    the thought of holding her panties gives me shivers…gah!

  6. Region Broad

    There’s a perfectly logical explanation …

    for things such as finding someone’s underbundies on the lawn. For example, perhaps the person was in a mad rush to get dressed and get out to an assignment, and as they ran to the car, perhaps a pair of…

  7. djmofo

    did he blow his nose in them? for some reason my dad would blow his nose in his dirty underware if he needed a kleenex.
    i know. enough said.
    excuse me while i gag

  8. franci

    djmofo…wow…that…umm..that goes right past TMI and settles down in the land of NNTBKBA (never needs to be known by anyone).
    *snicker*

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