Today is my 6 week check up. You know, the one where they make sure everything healed up the way it’s supposed to. You know what that means, don’t you?
It means I have to make “down there” all pretty for the doctor.
You thought I was going to say “it means I can FINALLY HAVE SEX!”, didn’t you? Admit it, you did.
Well, it does mean that too, but guess what?
I am T-E-R-R-I-F-I-E-D to have sex again.
I am being completely serious when I say that. I’m scared.
Not scared of the act of sex, I could never fear the penis, I’m scared that there is a possibility that I COULD END UP PREGNANT AGAIN.
I LOVE my daughter, I’m so happy I have her, but she was not a pregnancy we had planned. Not at 32 years old with two older boys.
And I was SO SURE that the Rhythm Method I had relied on for the past 14 years would WORK FOREVER!!!!!
So, now, every time I think of sex, I think it’s just another opportunity to get knocked up and that’s just NOT GOING TO HAPPEN.
Tony was on the waiting list to get his nards snipped, but our insurance with Kaiser is going to expire at the end of the month, so that’s not going to happen. We have to wait til our new insurance kicks in for him to have that done. We’re talking months here, people.
I feel sorry for Tony, I do, but I would feel more sorry for Tony if he was all “No baby, don’t worry, you won’t get pregnant and I GOT PREGNANT.” He tried sneaking it up on me the other night and I freaked out. “GET THAT THING OFF OF ME, IT STILL IS ACTIVE. IT CAN STILL IMPREGNATE ME! IT’S A WEAPON OF MASS FERTILIZATION!”
Four children is NOT something I want, three is just what I need, and every time I see The Penis, I see baby #4 written all over it.
Maybe I need to talk to someone about this?