my heart!

Last night, Ethan found a note Andrew had left for me on the kitchen table. It said “I love you mom, and Gabby and Dad.”
He burst into tears, “Andrew doesn’t love ME. He didn’t write my name. He doesn’t love his OWN BROTHER.”
The look on Andrew’s face when he realised he forgot to write Ethan’s name broke my heart. He does love Ethan, very much, and I know it was an accident that he didn’t write it, but no matter what Andrew said, Ethan wouldn’t listen.
“Oh, yeah, sure you love me, you don’t even write my name with the rest of the family!”
Andrew left the room, his eyes full of tears because he knew he had hurt Ethan deeply, and that hurt him.
I tried to comfort Ethan, but he sobbed uncontrollably. I held him as he buried his sweet face in my chest and said “Mom, I don’t understand, he’s my only brother and I love him more than anything, I think about him ALL DAY in school.”
I lost it. I started to cry for both of them. I cried because I knew Ethan was truly devestated and felt betrayed by his brother, and I cried because I knew Andrew was devestated that he caused his brother that much hurt. And I cried because my children love each other deeply and the beauty of that touched me to the core of my being.
It also made me realise how things that I think may not matter, matter to THEM. Things that may seem unimportant to me, little things, may be a huge deal. It made me realise I need to be more considerate of what I say and what I do, because I never want to make my children hurt the way I saw Ethan hurt last night, ever.
I thank God everyday for those boys. They teach me new things everyday. They make me a better human being. But mostly, they make me happy, even when they’re breaking my heart.

14 thoughts on “my heart!

  1. Empie

    OMG I just cried reading that, you always seem to do that to me. Yvonne you are sooo lucky that your children feel so deeply for each other, all i hear all day from my 5 are, I hate you, you suck, your stupid, yor feet smell, and the oh so wonderful, Im more popular than you, haha!
    OMG it drives me flippin nuts, and mind you my oldest is only 9!
    Who was popular at 9? God, kids, gotta love em!
    I have heard in Oregon its ok to duct tape you kids and lock them in the closet,so I think Im moving! ;}

  2. vanessa

    that is so great that your children love each other! you obviously did a wonderful job with them! i hope that my daughter loves any future children I may have as much as your boys love each other!

  3. BOBBI

    This made me cry and I am at work! That is soo sweet and soo sad at the same time! Too cute. Are the boys doing any better!? I hope so. You are an awesome mommy! Keep up the great work…

  4. Nicole

    How precious are they! My sister and I used to be the same way. My girls are like this too. The love you have in your house is a direct effect of the love they have been shown by you. Congrats to you ! Keep the love going this world needs it.

  5. pink lotus

    You are SO lucky. I don’t ever want to read on your blog again what a horrible person you are because you’ve done a very good job with your sons. {hugs}

  6. Ashlia

    Wow! your boys really do have low self esteem don’t they? they should be happy in the knowledge that their siblings love them.

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