Lie to me if you must

Ethan: Mom, you look soooooooo beautiful today.
Me: Aw, thank you. Is it because I’m wearing new clothes and not the same ones I’ve been wearing everyday?
Ethan: It’s everything, mom. It’s your pants, your shirt, your cute sandals, and your makeup looks beautiful.
Me: Ethan Michael, you just made mommy’s day. Thank you!
Ethan: Now can I have that $20.00 you owe me?

But you know what? I’ll take a compliment any way I can get it these days. Seriously. If someone told me my breath didn’t stink too bad, I’d get on my knees and kiss their feet.
I’m in serious need of a “day of beauty”. I haven’t had a haircut since March, my feet are dry, crusty, toenails unpolished, my skin is dry, my face is starting to break out, I smell like spit up titty milk most of the time. So I don’t even care if the kid was just trying to get the money I “borrowed” from his piggy bank to buy lunch because I was too lazy to drive to the atm, I am just glad someone told me I look beautiful.

Even if he didn’t mean it.
Even if I really look like old, crusty, ass.
Now, you may proceed to tell me nice things, even if you don’t mean them. Things like “I kinda LIKE the bumps in your fat ass.” Or something like that.
We’ll be spending the day at my sisters house near the beach, because it’s going to be 105 freakin degrees out here in the desert, but I refuse to complain because that would make me look like a giant asshole considering what the people in Florida are dealing with right now.
Happy Labor day!

10 thoughts on “Lie to me if you must

  1. kim

    aren’t kids just awesome? hilarious. and smart. not saying that i think you didn’t look beautiful, but he’s just so funny.. ;o)

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