Numb This.

I have a confession…


I got an epidural.
I know I said I’d never get one and I meant it at the time. I didn’t get one with either of my boys. I just hate needles too much.
But this labor was totally different. First of all, it was so damn long. 24 hours. And the pain? Well, it was bearable until the very end. The contractions got so strong that they never eased up. It was a constant pain and pressure and I tried to deal, but I couldn’t. I started to cry and scream for someone to help me. That’s when I screamed.
“I WANT AN EPIDURAL… NOW!”
They gave me one and I will admit that the pain from the needle wasn’t half as bad as I had imagined it would be. However…
It did absolutely NOTHING for me because I had waited too long to get it. They checked me right after they had it in and I was already dialted to 9 and within minutes I was pushing.
I could still feel everything. I remember people saying you couldn’t feel your legs or the urge to push. Yeah, whatever, I still had the pain and I could feel everything happening to me down there. The doctor said I waited too long to get it.
What a waste.
I was a little upset at myself for getting it, I felt like a wimp, but after 23 hours of all of that pain, and then getting the never ending contraction from hell, my body just couldn’t take it anymore.
There was one little snippet of my labor that I wanted to tell everyone about. When I was having that never ending contraction and was experiencing unbearable pain, I would blow air to try to release the tension in my body. Tony was trying to help, but there wasn’t much he could do. At one point when I was blowing and crying and begging God to make it stop, Tony looked me right in the eye and said “Whew, baby, you need a breath mint!! I’m going to go see if I can get you some.”
Ok, men? Don’t ever say that to a women in the last stages of her labor. EVER.
I grabbed his arm and I told him that I DIDN’T NEED A FUCKING BREATH MINT. and that if he left to get me one, I would kill him.
5 minutes later, he was shoving one in my mouth. I spit it out and tried to punch him.
I love that man, but there are times I question how much he values his cock because he says the stupidest things.
I am grateful he was there with me trying to help though. And even now, when he gets home from work, he’s right here helping me in anyway I can. He can see that I’m not doing so great these past couple of days. The lack of sleep has finally caught up to me and my body feels like shit. I don’t have pain, but I did start bleeding again and I feel like the walking dead. I try to nap when she does, but it’s impossible with the boys home. They never shut up and they never leave my side. They don’t want to go outside and play anymore, they just want to stay inside and “HELP” me. It’s driving me crazy, but I can’t get mad at them for it. I think my life will be so much easier once they go back to school, which is only 15 days away.
I just hope I don’t crash and burn before then.

11 thoughts on “Numb This.

  1. robynf

    Sorry to here you’re feeling rough. Talk to the boys and tell them that you need to nap when the baby naps, I am sure they will understand. When the baby goes down remind them that its your nap time too! If that doesn’t work, send the boys to me for the last couple of weeks of vacation, seriously..

  2. Michelle

    He said you needed a BREATH MINT??! I would have killed him- shoved a whole pack of mints down his throat to choke him. lol
    Don’t worry about not making any sense- I actually answered the door once with my shirt undone and nursing flap down on my bra. The newborn phase really sucks our brain juice..

  3. GC

    I actually laughed when I read about the breath mint part. If I remember, my ex-husband said some stupid things during my labors, too. Anyway, I just had to share that little part with my husband. Just so he knows in advance. 😛

  4. NinaKaye

    Oh god, I laughed so hard at the breath mint part. Sounds like something my husband would say/do.
    When I was in labor the phone rang and the nurse answered it. I was between pushes and she hands me the phone! Didn’t she notice I was working? My friend started trying to talk and I said, “look bitch, I’m kinda busy right now. call me back later!!” and hung up!

  5. Andreah

    Yvonne said, “…I spit it out and tried to punch him…”
    My husband has tried to put a lot of things in my mouth too and that’s usually my response as well..hee hee!!
    Nothing wrong with getting an epidural, you don’t have to be brave, but turns out you were anyways because it didn’t even kick in in time. I hope rest can catch up with you but all in all no matter how you feel today you still sound great!

  6. ella

    Definitely no shame in having an epidural.
    Too bad they didn’t give it to you sooner.
    As for stupid stuff guys say…my exhusband told me during the birth of our daughter, if he had never skinned a deer before he would never be able to watch me give birth.
    Now how sweet is that? I bet all you mothers out there are jealous.

  7. Mona

    I had 2 epidurals with my 2 babies, never regretted it coz I cannot deal with pain. With me I was able to feel the urge to push, only that I couldn’t feel the painful contractions, I was sitting up and talking to my nurse till my baby was all ready to come out. I still think epidural was the best for me. Hope you’re able to rest and get some sleep, it’s hard having older kids around.

  8. Amber

    Hey Yvonne, I just wanted to tell you keep up the good work with the blog. Im 33 1/2 wks pregnant and have two boys at home, reading your blog keeps me going. :) Even my hubby who knows SHIT about blogs thinks yours is great!!! Thanks Girlie girl!!!
    Amber

  9. rachel

    So how was the epidural. I did all 3 natural… I told myself the next time (IF EVER) I would just take it easy and relax…
    and if Gary shoved a breath mint in my mouth I’d throw the placenta at him…. fucker

  10. kathleen

    Don’t beat yourself up over the epidural! I’m as militant a pro-natural-childbirth mom as there is; however, I’ve always said it was easy for me to go without the meds, because my labor was cake. I have no doubt that I would’ve been begging for morphine if I’d gone past 18 hours. You did what you had to do, and you should be proud of yourself for making the decision you needed to make.

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