Just kill me now, please.

1am- not feeling so good.
1:15am- hear someone puking in the bathroom. It’s Tony.
2am- have cramping, chills and naseua. “The runs” set in.
3am- Still have all of the above. (The eating disorder in me is secretely happy becasue I’ll lose weight, then the protective mother in me gets scared, wondering if food poisoning can hurt my baby, so I call Kaiser and am told to go to urgent care immediately.)
3:15am- Take a shower, get dressed to go to the hospital. Listen to Tony puke some more. Check Ethan to see if he still has a fever, give him his medicine.
3:30am- Sneeze, puke and piss myself all at the same time WHILE MY HUSBAND WIPES THE PISS FROM MY LEGS. Continue to puke for the next 20 minutes while my husband runs and pukes in the other bathroom.
4am- Convince my husband that I can drive alone to the hospital. Get there and am hooked up to a monitor.
The next 2 hours, puke, diarrhea, puke, cramp, and cry.
6am- Freak out because they tell me they are going to have to hook me up to an IV.
6:15am- Get one vein poked, prodded and poked some more with IV, cry and moan in pain, almost pass out at the site of blood because the vein collapsed. Another nurse comes in, tries again in the same area. Fails. Pokes the other arm, fails. I cry and cry and moan and beg them to let me go home. Finally, the IV is inserted.
7am- Given a shot in the hip to stop the throwing up. Cry more from the stinging pain.
8-11- Get up to go to the bathroom ever 5 minutes. Find out my husband dropped the kids off at my mom’s house, only to be sent home for puking.
12- Have blood drawn.
4pm- Given another shot for the vomiting, this time through the IV tube, SCREAM IN PAIN BECAUSE IT BURNS AND STINGS SO FUCKING BAD.
4-7pm- sleep, shit, sleep and shit again. Finally am released.
7:30pm- Go to pick up the boys at my mom’s house. Find Andrew on her bathroom floor crying that he’s going to throw up but he’s afraid he’ll choke and not be able to breathe (just like me) Ethan is burning up with fever. I have the shits again, my body aches.
Now I sit here, still feeling like shit, still having the shits, taking care of 2 sick boys, one who is terrified to throw up.
So, how the hell was YOUR DAY?

26 thoughts on “Just kill me now, please.

  1. melly

    It sounds like you all have the stomach flu that I postponed my trip over. Not that I have ever pooped in my life. Because I don’t. I’m too fucking delicate!

  2. christine

    Oh my god. I was so hoping you were going to say it was all a nightmare. You poor baby, and I mean that in the most loving way possible. I wish there was something I could do for you. Hope it’s just a 24 hour thing. :(

  3. Maggie

    Clearly, my day was not as bad as yours was (only could have been if I’d lived through 10.5, I’d guess), but if it helps, I’m guessing the reason they hooked you up to an IV is to keep you hydrated (that’s one of the biggest risks with food poisoning & cholera-like illnesses – that people vomit so much & lose so much fluid through diaherria that they get sick from dehydration. You were probably just getting saline & that was to keep you & Gabriella both healthy)
    I really hope you feel better. Keep your boys drinking lots of OJ and water. And you too. Whatever it is, liquids will only make it better.

  4. djmofo

    i know tony was pooing like a pooing machine but still..his ass should have driven you to the doc. you all could have had food poisoning. i hope you’re feeling better.

  5. yvonne

    He wanted to, he begged me to let him take me, I refused. I didn’t want to have to drag the kids out that early in the morning….

  6. theresa

    damn. i’ve had that illness twice, and its the worst illness ever. under no circumstances should your insides be leaving your body in two different directions at once. its just cruel and unusual punishment. and its not food poisoning, its some sort of virus. i can’t believe it took them that long to give you something to stop the throwing up though! the good news is that 24 hours later you feel 110% better. it looks like you’ve made it through the worst! hope you’re feeling better soon :)

  7. Stacey

    Well, I have a throat/ear/chest infection…so shitty.
    lost my blog, hosting is gone…so…shittier.
    Only thing good about today is the weather. And I can’t enjoy it. :

  8. myllissa

    Oh, Sweetie!! I wish I could fly out to Cali to care for you! That has to the worst. I’m sure you are hit the hardest by it because you are the mommy, the wife, you are VERY pregnant, yet VERY sick, and everyone will still look to you for comfort and care. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. Feel better real soon, honey!

  9. waistdog

    It’s a good thing you have TWO bathrooms.
    I’m sorry to hear about all this though, and hope you start feeling better soon.

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