I’m still red.

Tonight was my sister’s surprise 30th birthday party. I was chattin’ it up with her friends and telling stories of my sister as a child. Anyone who’s ever met me in person would tell you I’m a very animated talker. I use crazy, mad body language skillz, yo. Anyway, I’m telling someone a story and I do this very big hand movement which sends my arm, fists clenched, behind my body. I didn’t realise a woman was behind me and I punched her right in the gut. She made a little “ugh” sound and bent over. I.Felt.So.Stupid. I felt my face got hot from embarassment, but lucky for me, she started laughing. We both started laughing, then everyone that saw started laughing. I apologized all night, but she wasn’t mad at all.
I can’t think of a time in my life that I’ve felt like such an ass. Ok, there’s the time I farted in the front row of church, tried to blame the little girl sitting next to me by looking at her, plugging my nose and saying “ewwwwwwwwww”, only to have a lady behind me say very loudly “Don’t even try it, y, YOU did it, I heard you!” But I was only 16 then, I’m like, an adult now so I was totally embarassed.
Oh well, at least she didn’t throw up or go into convulsions with all of the power that was in that punch. She must work out.

4 thoughts on “I’m still red.

  1. Mo

    Holy CRAP! I’m dying!!
    Like the time in 6th grade, when we were running a relay. Just when the girl came around and passed me the baton, and just as I started running, out like a rocket came this enormous fart. I was so humiliated. It was like a rocket launch, or something. Oy.

  2. James

    You should tell the people about the time you were tellin me a story and I ended up in a wheelchair.
    *tryin to keep a straight face*

  3. Stevie

    Oh. My. God…lmao.
    You just made me feel soo much better about what I did several years ago.
    I was at a new dentist for the first time, getting ready to have a tooth pulled. When he stuck the novacaine needle in, it HURT and I lifted my right arm off the chair and kinda reached out to the right and behind a little to clench a fist and be able to not jump up and leave.
    When I made the fist, unfortunately, the dentists ass was closer than I realized, so I wound up grabbing me a BIG ol handful of dentist-ass.
    I let go (of course) and when he withdrew the needle I said “Heh. I usually save THAT for the second visit…”
    The look on his face was priceless.

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