When he gets a real illness, I’ll be supportive.

My sick, dying husband was diagnosed today.

He has “Congestion.
I think he’s going to live.
Why are men such babies when they’re sick? The day after I pushed a 7 1/2 pound child out of my sweet, little vagina, I was up cleaning my house, vacuuming, cooking. Keep in mind, I was still bleeding, cramping, I had stitches in between my asshole and vagina, I was still passing “junk” and had a little man sucking on my tits every 2 hours. Granted, that’s not what you call sick, but you get the point… I WAS FUNCTIONING.
Tony has “congestion” and he’s couch ridden with tissue boxes surrounding him, blankets, talking about how bad his chest hurts from coughing every 5 seconds while moaning and acting like he’s hacking up a lung.
When he talks, it sounds like every word might be the last word he utters before passing on and leaving me a widow at 32.
I could see if the doctor said he had pneumonia, or bronchitis or hell, even a cold, but the man has CONGESTION.
Oh well, after 13 years of marriage, I’ve come to accept this kind of behavior as the norm, but just because I accept it, doesn’t mean I enjoy it. I still want to trip him on purpose when he walks by hacking, while holding his chest. I still want to tell him to shut! up! when he complains, but I don’t.
I smile lovingly, ask him if he needs anything, then flip him off when he turns around.
And once in a while, I’ll ask, ever so lovingly, “Sweety, don’t you think you’re exaggerating just a weeteeny little bit?”
Then I say, “Just kidding”.
But I’m not kidding.
No, I’m not.

9 thoughts on “When he gets a real illness, I’ll be supportive.

  1. Jessy

    Women have a high tolerance for pain. Even when you hear a woman say otherwise — what it really means is “I can tolerate pain just fine, I just don’t want to”.
    Men, well… they’re… hmm. Yeah you know what?, you have it right– There is no other way to put it… men are babies.
    That’s why the powers that be saw fit to give us better rank at pretty much everything.

  2. Matt_31

    *cough* yes im sick .. i need someone to rub my feet, make my food, give me life .. ohh but theres basketball and football on so ill be ok enough to watch those .. hehe we have the women trained well .. now if they would just go shopping for beer and thing for us LOL j/k
    if i was sick like that even if i was dying i would still have to do things i wouldnt be allowed “to be dying”

  3. dani

    i think i am one of the lucky ones. my man is so stoic it’s actually been life threatening. once he was having pain in his side that i thought was just minor, and he finally ended up in the emergency room with a serious gall bladder infection. the doctor said if he would have waited one more day to come in he would have been dead. he was on morphine and antibiotics by IV for a week. the doctor asked him how he was able to deal with the pain for so long, and chris just said he didn’t think it was that bad. so we’ve made a deal, if he has pain or sickness anywhere near that he is supposed to tell me now =)

  4. Kenn

    I can sympathize with him completely.
    Uuuuhhh….us guys gotta stick together right? I’m a big sissy too when I get sick! So was my dad.
    Hehehhe. Men. We’re all alike.

  5. shortt

    he he he, that is funny, pansies…
    men are just little purple flowers. ha ha ha
    once my brother had a “brain tumor” no lie, a head CT, for snot. ha ha ha

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