I might have a problem.

Tonight, I took my competitiveness to an all time low.
So, Ethan was chillin in the toy room, and I went in to check on him. He asked me to take down his Tonka backhoe that he hasn’t played with since last Christmas. I took it down, sat on the floor and watched him pick up crayons with it.
All of a sudden, I had the greatest idea ever!
“Ethan! Stay right here, I’ve got an idea!”
I went running down the hall into the kitchen, opened up the cabinet and grabbed a bag of pinto beans. I ran back to the toy room and shouted “LOOK! You can pick up beans!”
I dumped the bag of beans on the floor, and realized he would need something to dump the beans into, so I ran back to the kitchen to grab a Tupperware container.
He was set.
Scooping beans with a motorized back ho is so much fun!
I wanted to try it so bad, but he was having too much fun. I ran and got Tony and told him to watch Ethan and how “good he was at picking up beans.”
This was a very proud moment for Tony, he used to be a backhoe operator and to see his son scooping up piles of beans with such skill was one of those moments a father dreams about.
Anyway… I had the second best idea ever!
“Let’s have a competition! We each get one turn to scoop up beans and dump them, whoever picks up the most beans wins!”
Ethan got all excited, but not nearly as excited as I was, because I was going to beat Tony at what he did best! (Operating a backhoe!) Only it wasn’t dirt we were picking up, it was beans. Beans off of the carpet.
Ethan went first.
beans.jpg
He got 78.
Tony went second. He got 148.
I went next.
You should have seen MY pile of beans. I was sure I had won.
140, 141, 142, 143, ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh SHIT. 144!
“Let’s play again!”
“NO MOMMY! I WAS PICKING UP BEANS FIRST, NOW YOU AND DADDY ARE TAKING OVER!!!!”
“One more time, please, I want to beat daddy!”
“NO!!!”
Of course, Tony couldn’t stop laughing and teasing me. “You’re so competitive, think about it, you’re mad because you DIDN’T PICK UP AS MANY BEANS AS I DID!”

Jerk.

10 thoughts on “I might have a problem.

  1. Jenni

    We do the same thing here except with the Harry Potter Trivia Game…..I totally kick the H’s ass at that game and my boys have to calm me down. They think it is hilarious!
    I love the stories about your family.

    Reply
  2. Jessica

    LMFAO… yeah.. I think you might have a problem. but we still love you. ;)
    would you REALLY want to be the woman who could pick up the most pinto beans with a back ho…..?

    Reply
  3. Amanda

    I usually don’t comment but you really do make me laugh, i can’t wait to come home everyday and read your blog…haha You have two of the most beautiful boys i’ve ever seen.

    Reply
  4. keith

    Quick!! Sell that story idea to Bernie Mac George Rodriguez or another comedy sitcom!!
    You guys are having way too much fun, out there. Pickin’ up dried beans with a Tonka backhoe. And competing. And ticking off the kid. And saying “ho” and “beaner”.
    Share the moments of your life.
    Hey, you could sell the idea to Kodak or Fuji for a 30-second commercial!!

    Reply
  5. Jennifer

    Ah. I usually have these competitions except on a street luge. Speeding down a hill. With no pads on. And people get hurt. Especially me.
    But, you know my motto! If you can’t win fair and square, use excessive force… AND THEN WIN!
    That’s right. I am now suggesting that you use excessive force at Tonka back-ho bean picking-upping. DO IT! Kick him in the knees!

    Reply
  6. Jennifer

    Ah. I usually have these competitions except on a street luge. Speeding down a hill. With no pads on. And people get hurt. Especially me.
    But, you know my motto! If you can’t win fair and square, use excessive force… AND THEN WIN!
    That’s right. I am now suggesting that you use excessive force at Tonka back-ho bean picking-upping. DO IT! Kick him in the knees!

    Reply
  7. Jennifer

    Ah. I usually have these competitions except on a street luge. Speeding down a hill. With no pads on. And people get hurt. Especially me.
    But, you know my motto! If you can’t win fair and square, use excessive force… AND THEN WIN!
    That’s right. I am now suggesting that you use excessive force at Tonka back-ho bean picking-upping. DO IT! Kick him in the knees!

    Reply
  8. waistdog

    Not to mess with the family dynamic here…..But the simple solution is to buy a couple more Tonka ‘ho’s, so you can have side by side competitions.
    But then you’ll need to buy more beans.
    And well, more tupperware.
    Then y’all can move on to Garbonza’s, and Lima’s.

    Reply

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