Yvonne Scissorhands

Snoop hates me today.

Haaaaaates.Me.

I don’t blame him.

I had to give him a bath yesterday because he was filthy from his romp in the hood. As I was bathing him, I noticed his hair was matted up pretty bad, and he had all kinds of debris stuck to him. I decided to try to give him a little trim to cut some of the mess off.

Bad idea.

I did this once before and well, I’m really bad with scissors. Once I start, I don’t know when to stop. I get carried away trying to “even things out.” I ended up cutting off at least 39 pounds of his hair off and he looks horrible. It’s all uneven and choppy. (small voice) He looks like an over-sized rat.(/small voice)

I feel so bad.

But probably not as bad as he feels. He has been moping around the house all morning, no life in his step, just dragging along. I imagine he’s thinking “how will I ever face my homies again?” Or whatever it is that dogs say when they’ve had their dignity stripped from them.

Here’s a little before and after so you can see what I’ve done.
Before the scissor massacre


After the scissor massacre

Before the scissor massacre

After the scissor massacre

LOOK AT HIS FACE IN THIS PICTURE. He HATES me.

I’m telling you, hates.
Wouldn’t you?

44 thoughts on “Yvonne Scissorhands

  1. theresa

    AHAhahahahahaha! Just don’t give him a mirror, he’ll never know! Hehehe. I can’t stop laughing looking at that photo. He kinda looks like a fuzzy Ewok. lol

  2. Tracy

    Ok, seriously, take him to a groomer and have him buzzed down. Poor boy!
    LOL. All the other dogs are going to point and laugh…

  3. Kimmie

    Okay, so I know where NOT get my hair cut. Don’t turn your back on snoop, not even for a minute. The look in that dogs eyes says revenge!

  4. sf

    Girl you are too funny. STEP AWAY FROM THE SIZZORS. I will start a “snoop groomer” fund before I look at another picture of that pissed off little face. Poor snoop. Poor, poor snoop.
    Is everything still okay with your neighbourhood?

  5. keith

    And, if he’ll let you, try brushing him, now that his coat is shorter and not matted. If he doesn’t like it, but isn’t too mean about it, try again later. After a few times, he could probably begin to like it. Of course, if ol’ Snoop’s a total a-hole the first time you try to brush him, then maybe a good clipping from a semi-pro groomer is what he needs.
    I actually think he looks a little nicer with the short cut. Get it evened up, and he’ll be fine. Poor guy.

  6. kiteless

    i would have to say he looks pretty pissed at you. you just have to explain it to him that it’s all going to grow back. maybe you should take him over to petsmart and get him totally shaved so it grows back in evenly =)

  7. About D@mn Time

    Get Snoop Some Game!

    You know, some people should NOT be allowed to play with scissors. Evidence: Snoop before: And Snoop After: Therefore, I propose a little “Get Snoop Some Game” donation. As you can see, Yvonne removed ALL Snoop’s game. Poor lil’ guy…

  8. About D@mn Time

    Get Snoop Some Game!

    You know, some people should NOT be allowed to play with scissors. Evidence: Snoop before: And Snoop After: Therefore, I propose a little “Get Snoop Some Game” donation. As you can see, Yvonne removed ALL Snoop’s game. Poor lil’ guy…

  9. mabel

    That’s the best laugh I’ve had in ages. Thanks!! Poor Snoop!! How will he be able to show his face around town with him looking like something the cat dragged in!! aahHaaHHaaaaHaaaSNORT…Ah, ya kill me.

  10. Tiff-er-ny

    Snoop – “O dear Gawd! Mooom what have you done to me Here’a? I look something awful. It took me soo soo long to grow out dis here’a dread locks. ”

  11. Hey Lisa

    Awww, he’s so cute! And you were trying to do something nice for him. He’ll have forgotten by morning. If you keep him away from the mirrors and don’t talk about him where he can hear you. Poor snoop. Glad he came home though. :)

  12. girl

    ROFL. poor pup. I say do what everyone else has been saying and take that poor dog to PetSmart or something and get him buzzed. he’ll be much happier.

  13. Bloggie Broad

    When good moms go bad….

    Oh my Lord….check out poor Snoop, Yvonne’s doggie. She went a little crazy with the scissors. Just a wee bit. That poor guy. It’ll grow…

  14. mabel

    he’ll be okay…just make sure and hide all the mirrors and don’t let the other dogs catch sight of him….ahhhHHaaaHaaaHaaaaSNORTSNORT.

  15. waistdog

    Scissors?
    Or electric hedge clippers?
    This should keep him from running off for awhile.
    At least until he gets his ‘do back.
    Although……you COULD say he was wonder dog, just back from the fire.

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