Don’t mind that hissing, it’s our replacement pet, he’s a little moody.

Real great idea I had, offering to buy Ethan a hamster. I really do need to learn to think before I speak.
We went to a couple pet stores, and Ethan finally found the one he wanted because “she looks nice and calm.” The lady told us it was a girl, so Ethan named her Missy. How sweet, right? Riiiiiiiight…
We bought it and brought it home. My neighbor asked to see it, opened the little box, then gave it back to Ethan.
“OWWWWW mom, I think Missy bit me.”
Then, the blood starting flowing, and Ethan started screaming.
And the hamster started making evil sounds that I’ve never heard before. ohhhh yeah, she’s really calm and nice, alright. Good judgment of animal character my son has there.
Now Ethan’s scared of the damn thing, I’m not going to sleep tonight worrying that my son might have rabies or some other hamster disease and Missy’s plotting a way to kill us all while we are sleeping.
Fucking Jibbity, WHY DID YOU HAVE TO LEAVE US AND CAUSE ALL THIS TURMOIL? No, I mean, why did you even come into our lives in the first place? Everything was fine until you came along!
Damn you, crickets. Damn you evil hamsters.
I hate you all.

17 thoughts on “Don’t mind that hissing, it’s our replacement pet, he’s a little moody.

  1. mabel

    heehee, i don’t know who’s more scared…you all or missy. shame dr. phil isn’t around…he’s great with family squabbles. btw, is it possible that missy has pms? do female hampsters have raging hormones? i understand, you probably don’t even care at this point. i hope ethan isn’t traumatized for life. poor ethan. what a rotten day.

  2. Laura

    If you can get past the whole Rodent With A Tail thing, rats are EXCELLENT pets. I got one for my daughter when she was 6 and another one when she was 7. They NEVER bite and are very loving, sweet little animals. Well, OURS never bit any of us anyway, and we played with them constantly. Seems like they’re not as smelly as hamsters either.

  3. Mac

    This is so apropos: I just watched the movie Willard. Granted, Ben was a rat, not a hamster. But still — I’m sure you see the eerie similarity. Gah! *grin*

  4. ratty

    i’m with laura, obviously :)
    rats are SO much more mellow than hamsters.
    hamsters ARE evil. and stupid. and they EAT each other [ask michele :)].
    we’ve had many rats in the last 10 years and none of us has ever been bitten by one.

  5. kiteless

    i second rats, they are really great pets, maybe you should exchange the hamster for one. over all hamsters are very agressive little beasties, and youd be much better off with a mouse or a rat. rats are very smart and pretty long lived too!!

  6. Angry Pete

    If you buy a hamster for a kid, buy a black bear hamster. They’re all black, and unless threatened, they will not bite. They’re really tame, really laid back, and don’t ask for much. Just a nice cage, and chew stick or two every once in a while. I have one and he’s great.

  7. hamster dance

    Uh, perhaps the little thing was scared. I mean, you did take it away from its environment, so it needs time to adjust to its new enviornment and immediatly being mauled by a little kid is not the best way to get it used to that new environment.

  8. yvonne

    My son didn’t maul the thing… he was trying to close the box and the fucker jumped up and bit him. My son respects animals…
    But thanks for your expert opinion anyway…

  9. JaxVenus

    Hamsters are sometimes a bit unstable. My sis had em growing up, and they didn’t bite, and my nephew has two. I had one for a few years, Cinnamon, and she was sweet as all get out, but then I had one about two years ago that was real skittish and bit me just for jollies whenever it felt like it. I think if I was gonna venture into the rodent family again, I’d get a guinea pig. Hamsters are cute, but they spend their lives trying to get out of whatever ya put em in. Escape! Escape! thats their one goal. Or a bunny.. bunnies are cool!

  10. Chuck

    They say when you bring it home to leave it alone for a few days for a reason. i got a nice finger chewed too but the one that did it a month later is now fine. Oh and tell him to never pick them up untill they are awake. They bite when someone picks em up asleep.
    Our 2 are wonderfull but it took a while to tame them.

  11. hamster dance

    Did you see him close the box or is this what he told you?
    Also, hamsters in an unknown environment will try to escape. I doubt very highly that this hamster deliberatly tried to bite your kid. Somehow, I doubt though, that his story is true.
    Also, if he rspects animals, than perhaps he should not have kept a cricket boxed up. You as a parent should have explained to him why wild creatures should be left just that – in the wild.
    I am sure his intentions were good, but if you want him to learn how to foucs them properly, explain to him that nature is not something you can keep in a shoebox.

  12. yvonne

    Ok, now you’re pissing me off. I was standing right there and saw the whole thing happen. My neighbor opened the box that he came in to look at him, she told ethan to hold the box so she could get her son to see it and while he was holding the box the hamster stood up and BIT HIM.
    You can stop with the lectures already. I’m a good momma and I’ve taught my kids well….. they do respect animals.
    Damn, you’re annoying.

  13. kb

    We bought a hamster that was a fiece little bitch, bit my kid too. Packed that little fucker right back to the pet store and talked to the manager about exchanging it. We got another female but this one is a little dream. She loves Opie and will crawl into his hand when he opens the cage.
    So if she’s still hostile after about a week, take her back.

  14. Nina

    Pet stores usually have a good return policy (for that very reason). Maybe they would let you trade the evil thing in for a turtle. They make much better pets. I had one for 8 years before I set him free. To me hamsters are just too much like rats.

  15. Angie

    Hi. Any hampster will nip or bite, but it is only when they are startled. The little hampster was just scared and your son didn’t maul it or anything, he just startled the little thing. It’s not his fault or the hampsters fault. They say to let the hampter get use to its surroundings and then start slowly letting the hampster come up to you and then you can pick them up. And soon the hampster will know your scent and its surroundings and be fine. And nobody should get bit anymore.
    Angie

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