I’ve been helping in Ethan’s class everyday since the first day of school. He has the same teacher Andrew had in first grade and her and I just love each other. I couldn’t be happier.
What I’ve been doing is coming in about an hour before he gets out of school and doing whatever work she has there for me to do. Today I decided to help in the morning. It was time for the class to go to lunch and I told Ethan I was going to go to run a few errands and I would come back again like I always do. He started to cry. “Don’t leave me mommy, I miss you, I want to go home with you, pleeeeeeeeeeeease, you can’t leave me.” At first I was upset. Then I realized he’s having a hard time adjusting to being there all day. In kindergarten, they would leave at 11:30. They also had their own playground. He didn’t have to be on the big playground with the big kids.
I decided to stay with him for lunch. He went to the playground to play, and I told him I’d watch him. My heart broke when I saw that little guy wonder down the grass hill, not knowing who to play with. He looked totally lost. I started to cry. I think of them as so grown up, but the truth is, he’s still a little guy with lots of insecurites and he still needs his mommy to make him feel safe and secure at times.
I can’t decide which way to handle it from now on though… Do I continue to go with him and stay until he’s comfortable? Or should I stay away for awhile until he adjusts and is able to handle being there without me?
Sigh…. sometimes being a mother is NOT easy. Not at all. You want to do what’s right for your child, but you don’t always know if you’ve made the right decision, or if you should be doing it differently.
What’s a momma to do?
I feel for the kid. you wanna know who my best friend was in elementary school? the recess teacher. yep. I would walk around at recess holding the recess teacher’s hand b/c very few of the kids liked me and I had no idea how to convince them I was good enough to be in their clique. it’s sad that cliques start that far back. most of them just hated me b/c I was a teacher’s kid though. kids can be such dicklicks.
i had the same problems as him. my mom abruptly dropped me off at the door and i was soooo shy and insecure that i just cried. so i was known as a scared baby—thus picked on.
i would suggest possibly during recess or during their free time, try to talk with other kids with him. sort of introducing kids to him. this way he’ll start finding someone to click with and it will go from a 3some conversation to just him and a kid, and woomp–he has a friend and someone he can ‘share’ with you.
make it in a round about way not “hi this is my son”. more or less “hi whatcha doing? wow. say ethan, you like doing that too why don’t you tell them about your experience”. and go from there.
i think possibly this will ease him into people and out from being attached to you. girl is right. he needs to start forming socialization skills early or he might have a hard time throughout school.
good luck
Think about baby birds. Some of them can’t seem to wait to jump out of the nest, others have to be nudged a little bit. Yeah they are scared at first and can’t understand why their mother if pushing them to what must be their doom, but imagine the feeling of discovering flight.
Yeah your son wants to stay in the comfort of his momma’s presence, but think about how great he’ll feel discoving a new friend.
I’m having a similar struggle with my son riding/not riding the bus to kindergarten.
I’m having a similar struggle with my son riding/not riding the bus to kindergarten.
I agree with dj (did I just say that?) Seriously I understand it’s hard for you too. It’s hard to see our kids sad. If you’re going to hang around try to acclimate to a social group of kids, step back, and walk away. I know… easier said than done.
Man, you’re making me worry about my son’s first day of first grade next week. My neighbor’s daughter, one of his playmates, is going to be in his class but she’s in that “boys are yucky” stage and can quickly forget about him. We’ll see how he makes it through his first day of all-day school. Good luck with little man E.
People were afraid to not be on my good side.
Not really, but we all figure it out eventually. Elementary is easy. It’s high school that kills you. He’ll make a few little buddies. Before you know it he’ll have all new fart jokes to tell. Or parrot riddles.
I would ask him what he’d like for you to do. Let him know that you can’t stay at school forever, but what about for half of next week.
And tell them I said,”Howdy! Ya’ll!”
Yvonne, you are such a caring and sensitive mother. You remind me of mine. I think a lot of this he has to do on his own, but if it really is truly heartwrenching for you to watch, I say go a few more times to school.
I think you should wait a while and let him develope the social skills he needs. Be watchful and let him go on his way. School can be a wonderful adventure.