I’ve been helping in Ethan’s class everyday since the first day of school. He has the same teacher Andrew had in first grade and her and I just love each other. I couldn’t be happier.
What I’ve been doing is coming in about an hour before he gets out of school and doing whatever work she has there for me to do. Today I decided to help in the morning. It was time for the class to go to lunch and I told Ethan I was going to go to run a few errands and I would come back again like I always do. He started to cry. “Don’t leave me mommy, I miss you, I want to go home with you, pleeeeeeeeeeeease, you can’t leave me.” At first I was upset. Then I realized he’s having a hard time adjusting to being there all day. In kindergarten, they would leave at 11:30. They also had their own playground. He didn’t have to be on the big playground with the big kids.
I decided to stay with him for lunch. He went to the playground to play, and I told him I’d watch him. My heart broke when I saw that little guy wonder down the grass hill, not knowing who to play with. He looked totally lost. I started to cry. I think of them as so grown up, but the truth is, he’s still a little guy with lots of insecurites and he still needs his mommy to make him feel safe and secure at times.
I can’t decide which way to handle it from now on though… Do I continue to go with him and stay until he’s comfortable? Or should I stay away for awhile until he adjusts and is able to handle being there without me?
Sigh…. sometimes being a mother is NOT easy. Not at all. You want to do what’s right for your child, but you don’t always know if you’ve made the right decision, or if you should be doing it differently.
What’s a momma to do?