hide the lighter fluid and matches

this is a conversation (if you can call it that) i just had with my husband.

“ok, i know i have no right to talk because i didn’t go with you to pick it out, but… this is the ugliest effing christmas tree that i have ever seen. how the hell am i supposed to decorate this piece of crap? didn’t you noticed there was like a whole section missing from the tree right in the middle and that it’s totally lopsided? how the hell am i supposed to hang lights from it if there are no branches in the middle of the damn tree?

his response?

“damn right you have no right to talk, i told you to come help me pick it out.”

i can’t really argue with that, but come on! he couldn’t tell half the damn tree was missing? *deep breaths* think it’s time to stop looking at the tree and watch my thug work out video.

20 thoughts on “hide the lighter fluid and matches

  1. robyn

    That missing section is so you can put the cardboard box ghetto house there! Instead of a Christmas village, you can make a Christmas ‘hood. Just spread 40-caps, empty bullet casings, and cigarette butts around on the floor. And instead of hanging tinsel, knock over a pawn shop and OG the tree!
    Isn’t marriage grand? ;-)

  2. mike

    oh what a good laugh. I must say u do say mutha fucka really good.
    Is there going to be pictures to go along with this post? I really would

  3. yvonne

    i think i know what he was thinking, mike. he was thinking “oh i’ll show her… she doesn’t want to come help me pick out a tree, i’ll get her the ugliest tree i can find and i’ll teach her a lesson and next year, she’ll get her ass in the car errrrr van and come help me”…
    mutha fucka!

  4. Zander

    OH MY VIRGIN EARS!!! all that language! hehehehe and all over a Christmas tree LOL
    Well, I think ours is ugly too, but it is artificial crap too. The one in the house at school is like 10ft tall, but truly ugly LOL no pattern of anything to it. Now how gay am I wanting to have a theme to a Christmas tree? hehehe

  5. Dania

    LOL…i’ve seen worse. Ummm…hang some REALLY big ornaments in the middle? You now, the ones like they have hanging off Targets ceiling? heh

  6. Loralei

    Why do I have this feeling that your whole rant was just so you could ask/beg for a new camera *winks* It isn’t so bad *snikkering* It could be worse *giggling* =)

  7. yvonne

    ok kevin… you’re crackin my shit up, but i feel better now, really. you don’t have to find me anymore ugly trees! hahaha
    and lorelei (or should i say frexican?) i’m glad somebody RECOGNIZED!! damn, you think someone woulda caught that a long time ago!

  8. Loralei

    bahahahaha@frexican!! Shaddap I am starting to like that nickame aaahahahaha *strolls off in search of a tamale cuz yanno we gotta have something to unwrap at Christmas* OH damn that was bad =)

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