conversations with a 5 year old know it all

ethan: mommy, come wipe my butt
me: no! you wipe your own butt little boy
ethan: but mommy, i can’t i went diarrhea
me: (to the person i was talking to on the phone) oh god, trish, hold on i have to wipe an ass.
ethan: mommy, would you please stop saying A.S.S.??

**
ethan:*holding up monopoly money* this is real money, ya know?
me: no it’s not ethan
ethan: yes it is mommy, the only difference is there’s no faces on it but it’s real.
me: no, you’re wrong, it’s play money
ethan:(angrily) NO IT’S REAL AND I’M GONNA BUY SOMETHING FROM THE ICE CREAM MAN!
me: oh reeeeeeeeeeeeeally?
me: ok, you go ahead and dot that.

is it wrong that i can’t wait for the ice cream man to come so i can see the look on his face when he tries to buy something with his fake dollar bills?

6 thoughts on “conversations with a 5 year old know it all

  1. Jason

    Lady, you are tough. There is no way I could find glee in seeing his poor little face when the ice cream man tells him “get outta’ here kid, ya’ bother me!”
    You are going to be an arms length away with a Lincoln right?

  2. Robin

    I think it is a great idea. Let him learn his OWN lesson. Of course, then demand an apology AND his monopoly money. :-) (just kidding)

  3. mikey

    i say that you should have the video camera ready, batteries charged, new tape in… so when he’s 16, you can really embarass the fuck outta him when he brings his prom date over…
    hahahahahahah

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